An update of my lil' Bro

I keep waiting and looking for an update from Along, sis and parents out there...
I know they too tired and hope they have enough courage and always be strong...
A little update from sis Azie...

"if u asked me am i PISSED with the treatment given to  my lil bro earlier at the GH, my answer is that : I AM ...  but it DOESNT matter .. wat is important to me NOW is  what "to do to make my lil one better" - exactly words i  said to the doctor whom tried to blame me for not telling them what actually happen to edmund ; when DID try to explain to then in the simplest words.. that my bro NEEDED an ATTENTION."

"FnF : update on my beloved bro procedure today : he is stable and awake. he is strong and able to talk, smile n make jokes .. and before we left he was asking for food.. lapar dia bilang ... but he is yet to be given any food or drink ... that is my lil boy ... kuat momom..." 

"i remember long ago , when my lil bro is still little boy .. i used to call him 'ayang' ... and when i call him up that name infornt of his fren ,  he will 'tarik muka' and go up to the hse and  said ... jan panggil saya ayang bha...today i call  him ayang again .. i cant describe how i really felt now...  

FnF : thanks for the prayer and concern ... "

 
So, I'm glad to hear that.... yet my heart had flew over.....
He always be our little one...
Yeah, the younger one always get what they wishes....I just missed when we still together...only left three of us...where he always get the big portion among us...father, mummy, bro and sis likes to cuddle him...with a fair skin and chubby...Well, actually we always pamper him...he likes to do the funny funny face to make people grant his wishes... the way he sulking...the way his stubborn... the way how he needed something....
Hence, family is everything...

Lil' Christopher, Lil' Cynthia and Lil' Edmund

p/s: Thanks all for the prayer and supports...

A Fighter Indeed

My heart popping so badly and without hesitating and realized that the tears dropping again and again…

It’s been a months that I heard lil’ bro having a bad headache, no appetite and keep vomiting. Asking what is wrong, the only answered I get is headache…

Been asking them to bring and check brother to a specialist, yet brother only keeping his painful by himself…

I know brother and of course all of us are damn hard and stubborn due to certain things… In fact when it’s come to something relate to family, feeling and security; we rather to keep it by our own self…To not make them worried, rather to swollen the pain…

I just been informed by mummy that they had been sending him to the government hospital, yet no update or should I said the doctor there did not do anything instead of keep on saying he is fine and nothing else than a normal gastric… What the fark is this shit?? What is the farking new hospital that implement in the Keningau ?? What for the so called Hospital Baru ?? I’ve been there and what I saw is just those nurses or dresser doing nothing instead of sitting there and talking for whole time… Yes, I’m accusing them due to the lack of integrity and wasting our money paying them for nothing !!! Yes, I’m disappointed on what have they done, done for nothing !!!

I’ve googled out in the Malaysian Project – 8, the new Hospital Keningau which is located in Jln Apin – Apin have their Certificate of Pratical Completion on 31^st May 2003, cost for RM 198.8 million, where it’s been accommodate with the Intermediate Hospital Information System for the patient and among staff. So where is the accommodation and facility ? What's wrong with the vision? Where it's go? Or it just some kind of frame hanging on the wall ????

the link ----->      Hospital Keningau Vision

When it’s come to urban places like this especially in West Malaysia, occasionally peoples notice on the existence of the humanity in it. Why?? Because we seldom do some rawr-ing ?? because we live more peacefully rather in the East ?? Because we more respectful or forgiveness?? I am not looking for those lack-nesses of each party, but I am disappointed when we have been implemented on those facilities yet its seem like non people been using it….what a wastage !!!

Is that true that our people there have not wake up yet ?? Does they really need to knock there head for a several times to wake them up??

Why on earth the so called hospital which cost you almost RM 200 million doesn’t help you anything?? Why on earth there is no other specialist in that so called hospital?? Why on earth there is no action been taken out for this?? Is the only places that could survive is in the BIG CITY?? On earth of this, I saw many cases that, the villagers rather die in their own home town, been giving the wrong prescription for the wrong sickness !!! It's not because of what they had do wrong, it's because the villagers does not have any knowledge yet they have been blindly fool out by our very own generation which is just for the sake of giving out the prescription without proper procedure... the old man / lady there are too rely on what is the nurses/dresser/doctor which they too respect on them but couldn't cure there sickness but still looking for some effort to survive.... 

So again, I’ve been posted out by sis Azie, that for what is happening in kampung thru Facebook..

the link  ----->     Another Disappointed Issues

So again, I’ve been posted out by sis Azie, that for what is happening in kampung thru Facebook..

it took them more than 1 month to CORRECTLY diagnose my lil Bro problem ... huk huk huk ....and required some ARGUEMENT from non-medic-educated like me ...

my youngest bro Edmund is currently undergo an operation to remove a tumor in his head... am worried sick and hoping everything goes as plan. pls pray for him ....my dear beloved Bro ... God is always with u !

here is a story of my lil bro ; been vomitting and constant headache for the 1 1/2 month . we have been in n out of GH , but was told it is due to Gastric , up till last 2 week ,he become very weak and couldnt get up...but still given the gastric pill . last wed, he got a seizure.. yet the Dr refure to admit him to hosp... 

I got pissed and argue with the Dr, then only they said , WHY i didnt tell them the sympthom and etc .. i said for now i only need to know what can they do for my bro. t took them 2 days to do CT scan ( only after i insist on it...) and was told there is something in his brain... MRI can only be done in QEH , but have to wait... i opt for private service ....

so here is my advice , my lil bro who is only 22yrs old is just having headache .. a common headache ..... but without we realising he is actually in real pain of carrying this tumor.... i dont know what else to say .. bbut it just a headache .. :( ....the procedure should finish at 5pm today ...

i just realise something else, my bro always say he had this headache for quite smetimes...n keep taking panadol.. and i notice too why he was not given 'urgent' attention from the Dr at the GH, he is not the time who complaint about his pain with words.. or gesture . he rather opt for sleeping ..... maybe next time if we are sick we should cry aduh .. aduiiiiiiiiiiiii aduhhhhhhhhhhhh.. baru kena cek betul2 kan ..?

my lil bro , i know u r strong .. and a real fighter .. be stronger this time k.. ( teringat 3 weeks ago, while my car broke down, my lil bro send me to school with his bike... and it was raining .. and he was already sick by then..!!) huk huk huk! 

Again, early this morning at 7 am, mum called, asked for our prayer to be with him...to make him stronger...from the voice, I've sensed mummy in a real pain...yeah, I know mum always panic in everywhere in anything... But, please be strong enough to make your son go thru all this pain....We will all together go thru this... Along been heading from Lahad Dato to Kota Kinabalu, which it's took about 6 - 7 hours journey... Pity him, whereby in the middle of the road needs to take a nap or stop due to tiredness and still need to travelling for a sake of our lil' brother...so much of sacrifice...Not sure what time Along reached there...

Bro Kelly informed me that he'll be heading back to KK too...he gonna take a 1 week off... called me and he told me that lil' bro asking whether I'm going back or not? I'm speechless...I couldn't say any single words... Browsing the air ticket.. Yes, I'm coming back dear Edmund... I'm back to see and hug you my lil' brother !!! How I miss the stubborn and the way you smile and asking for something you needs...

Dear God, I'm asking for the healing of your mighty hand to rub upon your sons, to cure and make us strong...Dear God, for your forgiveness, please listen to our wishes and grant it, amen.... 


p/s: the unseen, undoubted could sometimes driving everyone mad kind of love and care !!! 

No Hope for the Malaysian

So here I found some debate while browsing the net...
yupes...I'm the net freak... LOL...who doesn't ??

         click this link yo --->             A letter to Prime Minister

It is bearable that opportunities are limited depending on how well-off financially one's family is but when higher education opportunities are race-based, like it is in Malaysia, it is downright cruel for those who see education as the only way out of poverty.

I surely agreed to the statement...I might have not see the outside world well enough... To experience the exactly what people has discovered... and hell yeah, to all the well-off financially family does they really use up their opportunity on education to improve the sociality ? or just maybe continue using up all the wealthy that has been accumulated generation to generation... ? Thank God to the great-grandpa/ma for the thinking outside the box to survive, gain and grab the opportunity for their beloved generation...

The injustice the non-Malay have to suffer in frightening silence is the most damaging problem one has to face throughout one's life. You just have to look at the mighty govt structures which completely favours only one race, the Umno Malay.

The Chinese and Indians are treated no better than the illegal Indonesians.

Racism and corruption are openly practised by the Malay politicians everywhere, Courts, schools/Uni, police, govt offices, contracts, GLC, NEP, ISA, local govt.

It's so powerful and intimidating that you walk with fear and keep your mouth shut on anything and everything political.

Religion is taboo unless you talk good about Islam.

Not to be racist, but myself had encountered the situation on our very 1 Malaysia beloved country...
Couldn't be more on the corruption, money can buy slogan is everywhere...

For the work study, I worked as a custodian (yes, cleaning toilets), carpet layer, computer lab assistant, grounds keeping, librarian, painter, tour guide, etc. If you understand the US credit system, you will understand this is a heavy load. 

Why did I do it? This is because I learnt as a young child from my parents that hard work is an opportunity, to give my best in everything, and to take pride in the work I do. I walked away with a double major and a minor with honors but most of all a great lesson in humility and a great respect for those who are forced to labor in so-called `blue collar' positions. 

Status and ego's where it's came out 1st... Yes people, does anyone have the courage to live their dream ?
For the hard work?

I'm not shy telling people that I am from a small town in a 2nd large in Malaysia...where all the peninsular 1st thought that we, from Borneo came from, is basically live in a jungle, wore Tarzan clothes.... even the native people does have clothes and houses.. T______T
Despite that in my very own village, have not fully supplied with the clean water, electricity, telephone cables or even a tar road...

Even so many and years election been conducted, and every promises had break, the old man/woman still continue to survive for their family...

Project Run Away

Yo people !!

Here again, I messing around !!

YES !!! I like to mess up things !!

tee hee ~~~

hahhaha...Last month I done mess up to my lovely hair...

Own cutting is a NO - NO...but hey, people love it and said it as a new hair styles !!

LOL... is that only me or there is really no idea what's matter on my hair !! 

huhuhu...well, I covered it perfectly and hell yeah, it's really damn funny when people said it's cute...tho ~~

So again, it's time for an up do on my hair AGAIN !!!

crazy huh !! well, when u bump into so called of ALONE in this kinda places...

lots of idea came in out....

I bought a hair dye...well, it's not new things thou...

I gonna try the bubble hair dye from Liese... I've chose Cassis Berry... hmm..god knows what is that... TT

Too bad that my camera phone is malfunction and its freaking upset me...uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...

I need a new gadget !!! Damn...

Well, I like my new hair color... and after a month my hair looks perfectly natural again, maybe still have a bit of weird hair cut shape left...*sigh* god knows where's the ugliest of my hair.. :'p

Next......hmmmmmm :S

Will be continue..... 

The 1st and the Last

So today, I'm taking the study leave...so yeah, I'm at home whole day...

While thinking what to do, I'm decided to clean up and tidy up my squary little room...

I called up Maria for a meet up actually...but eventually, she getting her's sickness again...

After satisfy with the smell good odor of my room, times for a good shower....

Done dressing up, when out for jalan jalan cari makan....

yupes, limited of choices, end up for a claypot chicken rice...

1st mission done, 2nd check and now it's time to hunt a bus for a very 1st time in USJ taking a public transport to Sunway...

Saw a guy at the bust stand and he said he's been waiting for 2 and half hour and no bus crossing the place yet...

I feel like "HUH ??? " yea, not with the open mouth yet...deng !!!

After wasting my precious time, waiting for 20 mins and it almost 3pm so fark it up, I wont be waiting any more longer...

Raise your hand girl and here the driver taxi come...

Well, for our very 1 Malaysian country, it just like non of it apply to all of the citizen...

yeah, maybe because of the population and demand?

So, I faced the bad experience in here...public transport (Rapid/Metro bus) is not so sure where is it, and taxi driver is not using meter...

To Sunway Pyramid from USJ 4 will cost you RM 18 ?? As you need to rush out, you left with no choice, take it or leave it...

Was thinking, when government requesting citizen to car pooling, no matter to go work or anywhere, why the transportation still not there? Was is because of the population? If yes, there should have a good transportation... or maybe because this place I mean in Subang itself, too many rich people where public transportation is not a needs??

A lesson of the day, don't waste your time waiting for a bus in USJ and ask before you sit in the taxi how much they will charge you...eventually you need to know how much is the rate here...

Again, to the boring of my day, will need a driver to fetch me whenever I need to go anywhere...

or else, gonna stay in my little tiny room seeing my little tiny square lappie.... tsk tsk :'(

A Hidden Dream

It's 3.08am, and still not sleeping..I just really NEED to blog, my hands been itching like god knows since my last post. Though I won't be return back to the pass, it will always be a memory to hold on. There are so many precious memories which we both hold, till now. It is so nice to meet your soul mate, but once you decided to go back, you'll have this sucky feeling of leaving something valuable behind. Which isn't fun at all. Here in KL, there's nothing for me to relate to.. I mean, I don't even have any of that feeling anymore. And I think it's kinda sucky to make a new one here, cuz then, it won't have any meaning at all, not that I don't try to, but maybe it just something like both of us keep lying to each other, hiding too many things, because we don't even build our relationship here for the sake of sharing... It's so bizzare...I hate the feeling of prejudice cuz the scar still there and the wound seems like bleeding again..

" I bear in mind for what you've ever said...

Sensed of rejection, keeping my mouth shut...

Cold arguement and just walk away... "

So again, from the beginning, I need to understand that expression of the unhappiness need to be the priority while I try to really understand that he's not the 9 - 5 person, which have his own vision, goals and objective to strive...

But do you really listen for what I've mumbling on? You have read lots of books of management and communication, body languages, expression, impression and so on... Could you ever get the main point? I don't ask for a prediction or telepathy... But maybe or perhaps, some way or some how, I just feel lonely even when you around..How sucky it be !!! 


For some point, I rather to make a pull stop and move on...In a between of the junction, I rather to go back where I belongs to and where people accept who I am and need me...To the end point of each junction, what I do really need is a lil' laugh, smile and cuddles...I'll be a good as good that you'll ever seen...